Libertarians Gone Wild In Prague

Prague Czech

Prague is the modern European capital of hedonism. Whether you want to score some drugs from a friendly street salesman or after-party at a club that opens at 6 a.m., Prague has you covered.

While this doesn’t represent my day-to-day, everyone needs to let loose once in a while and what better time to have fun than when the libertarians are in town in the Prague Old Town.

A bunch of libertarians and I converged in heart of Europe and took shelter in a Prague hostel. It was far from luxurious, but located in close proximity to lots of beer, booze and blasting music. As a pack of libertarians on a summer school, we went out for a night of fun and social freedom. One member of our group (whom we will call “Tom”) took great liberty in his alcohol consumption and became the focal point of the night after drinking 2 big glasses of absinthe. Tom decided to pose a challenge to the local uniformed Czech muscle representing the state.

It all started when Tom and I exited a club as the last ones of the group. Before him was a taxi. Tom thought the taxi was made for sitting. But he didn’t sit on a seat inside the cab; he took a seat on the hood of the car. The bald headed driver, looking like a bouncer, did not like Tom’s gesture, but didn’t get too upset either. The driver told Tom in a friendly way to go away. Tom did not listen and in American arrongace first argued and then started a fight he lost in a second, following my advice to go away. Tom partly listened to the ever-so-faint voice of reason inside his head, and he complied, getting pulled away by myself.

But minutes later, Tom saw a broken bottle lying on the street and broke away from my handle. Tom approached the taxi with this empty beer bottle, which he promptly smashed on the roof of the cab. At that point, the chase was on.

Tom, despite being heavily inebriated, possessed athletic ability, at least more than the fat taxi driver and his collegue patrols chasing after him. Tom ran – clever enough not to attempt a fight again. He was much faster than the taxi drivers chasing him – and me following with 50m distance. At least from my vantage point (not that I was totally sober either), it seemed like Tom could get away. After all, Czech police have enough on their hands just dealing with drunks that they would not be notified. Drunks who double as track stars are more work than a night’s pay is worth.

But Tom didn’t just run. He opted for the strategy of run and hide. Tom hid behind a restaurant behind a giant menu.  Blow-up images of goulash, roast duck and dumplings were concealing Tom’s presence.

Before long, the taxi drivers found him, knuckles in their hands. Tom was lucky – it was just 11pm on a hot summer night and plenty of people were around. They just hold him tight and called the police. We then had no choice but to part ways for the night – although I almost joined him after tipping the police officers shoulder from behind asking about where they take him.

The next day, Tom got out of jail after paying a 300$ fine. He returned to the hostel, where he received a hero’s welcome. It was like a homecoming for a Russian spy caught snooping around the United States.

Tom posed a challenge to the state. It may have been a drunken challenge consisting of little more than tomfoolery. But libertarian chicks dig a guy who makes life difficult for government workers. Or, maybe it was just a way for everyone to have good laugh — except for the taxi driver who was stuck cleaning up the broken glass.

Having seen that Tom’s valiant efforts going up against the local authorities impressed the libertarian ladies, I followed his lead. No, I didn’t do something that stupid. Rather, I called an ambulance and waited an hour for it to come, stumbling over a body in the dark alleys of Prague. Just another victim of absinthe in this lovely city which offers so much more than cheap alcohol.

 

Stay: The story happened in 2012 – the hostel dorm times are long over since. On my last stay in Prague I still chose a somewhat boutique hostel – Mosaic House. They have a nice bar and restaurant, but also comfortable private rooms in a convenient location. If you want to play beer pong all day, instead choose the MadHouse Prague.

 

Eat: I like Czech Food. It is like German, but tastier with huge portions of meat. Dont go international (even if you can), stay to good old Czech cuisine. Countless options to tell about.

 

Drink: Just dont drink Absinthe. There are so many bars and clubs that it is hard to choose and remember. I particularly remember a small shisha and cocktail bar on the old town square – do not know if it still exists or the name. And the Roxys for clubbing later, although Europes biggest club Karlovy lazne is made for some interesting time as well.

 

See: Visit the hackerspace and crypto cafe Paralelni Polis – and pay for your cake and coffee with crypto only (no fiat). Nice nerds hanging out there.

 

Do: Take an effort and go on longer hikes up the hills surrounding Prague. Visit the Kafka Museum for culture – and the Sex Machines museum with a Tinder date. The most hilarious experience however is the stalinist nostalgia in the communist museum – in a well suited location between a McDonalds and a casino.

 

Date: Prague has something for everyone. Just go with your new love after a long night at sunrise to the Charles Bridge and enjoy the magic.

 

Go there: I rarely fly into Prague, but often out. Taking the train from Berlin with a stopover in Leipzig or Dresden is always a great way to reach Prague, driving through the lovely river valley of the Elbe. Cheap airlines have a multitude of connections – and Prague often has great deals to Asia.

 

Go next: Within Czech, go beer drinking in Pilsen or visit medieval Brno. What I did was taking the LEO Express into Ukraine – a long, but surprisingly comfortable train ride over Slovakia into Mukachevo, Ukraine.